How to Finally Break Free from Your Insecurities
We all have that one thing...
The feature we hide in photos.
The angle we avoid.
The body part that makes us tug at our shirt or second-guess a swimsuit.
For me, it’s my stretch marks. When I was pregnant with my first child, my doctor — who was nearing retirement — looked at my belly and said, “These are the worst stretch marks I’ve ever seen. You know they don’t go away, right?” I dismissed it at the time (what else can you do?), but that comment stuck. Years later, even after building muscle, losing fat, and gaining definition, that insecurity still lingers. It’s one reason you’ll never see a full body “before and after” photo of me or pictures showing my midsection.
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be over this by now,” you’re not alone. Research shows that even people who achieve major fitness or aesthetic goals often continue to struggle with body image and self-criticism. The good news? There are small, research-backed steps you can take to reduce insecurities, shift your mindset, and feel more at home in your body — even if “perfect” is never the goal.
1️⃣ Focus on What Your Body Can Do, Not Just How It Looks
Studies in positive psychology and exercise psychology show that emphasizing functionality over appearance leads to higher body satisfaction. That means instead of obsessing over a “flaw,” notice how capable your body is.
Simple steps to start:
Focus on performance goals (getting stronger, running faster, etc) After a workout, write down one thing your body accomplished that day (e.g., “I lifted heavier than last week” or “I ran an extra mile without stopping”).
Choose a sport skill goal (a specific weight on a squat, running the bases for time, a basketball free throw, soccer dribble and feint, etc). Keep track of your progress over time.
Pay attention to everyday victories — carrying groceries, climbing stairs without getting winded, or playing actively with your kids. Notice how your body moves you through life!
Celebrate those wins out loud or in a journal. Your brain will start associating your body with strength and capability, not flaws.
2️⃣ Gentle Exposure — Face What You Avoid
Cognitive-behavioral research shows that avoidance reinforces insecurities. When we hide, we reinforce the idea that our “flaw” is dangerous or shameful. Gradual exposure, on the other hand, rewires the brain to see it as neutral.
Small exposure steps you can try today:
Wear that tank top or shorts you’ve been avoiding — start at home, then go for a walk outside.
Take photos or mirror selfies in clothing you normally hide from, just for yourself.
Gradually increase visibility — leave the shirt untucked at the gym, post a “confident” selfie for accountability, or try a new style you’ve avoided.
Tip: Start tiny and celebrate each step — confidence grows through repetition, not overnight transformations.
3️⃣ Transform Comparison Into Curiosity
Research in social psychology shows that comparing ourselves to others often lowers self-esteem. But when you shift from comparison to curiosity, it can become constructive instead of destructive.
How to try it:
When scrolling social media, pause before comparing. Ask: What do I admire here? Confidence? Consistency? Strength?
Write down one behavior or habit you could try that aligns with your goals — instead of feeling “less than,” you now have an actionable idea.
Limit time on accounts that leave you feeling drained or insecure. Curate your feed with content that inspires learning rather than envy.
Tip: Unfollow pages on social media that leave you feeling badly about yourself or unhappy in general. Start following pages and hovering over posts that bring you joy and make you feel good. This will change your social media algorithm to show you more of what makes you happy and confident, and less of what doesn’t.
4️⃣ Daily Body-Positive Habits
Simple daily habits can reinforce acceptance and reduce negative self-talk. Research on self-compassion and body neutrality shows that even short practices can improve body satisfaction over time.
Try these mini-practices:
Mirror affirmations: spend 30 seconds noticing one thing your body does well today (“I am strong,” “I am resilient”).
Keep a “gratitude for my body” journal: each day, jot one thing your body allowed you to do.
Move with appreciation: treat workouts as a celebration of what your body can do, not punishment for what it looks like.
